Online Dating Service

2007-03-28T08:10:00.000-07:00

A Secret Women
Know But
Men Don't

By David DeAngelo

I'd like to tell you a story...

It's a story that you might find strangely

familiar. Don't be alarmed.

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very

attracted to a particular woman.

At first, she was just another attractive

woman... but the more he got to know her, the

more he began to feel attracted to her... and

the more time he spent with her, the more that

attraction grew into a deep emotional

attachment and affection for her.

But there was one problem.

As his emotional attachment grew stronger and

stronger, he also grew more and more insecure.

Why?

Because he couldn't tell whether or not she

felt the same way towards him.

Sometimes she would say things like "You are

so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in

my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the

"friendship" stage.

There was an occasional hug, an occasional

kiss on the cheek from her... and once she even

held his hand for a long time while he talked

about an emotional issue.

But something was wrong with the picture.

She just wasn't acting like a woman that was

"falling in love". She was acting like a friend.

The insecurity that he felt became a spiral

that amplified itself... and the more insecure he

became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing

things up" by kissing her or asking her to be

his girlfriend.

Plus, the more insecure he became, the less

time she seemed to want to spend with him.

After spending many days and nights obsessing

over this girl, the man finally arrived at the

conclusion that if she only knew how HE FELT,

that she would feel the same way.

So he made a bold move.

He TOLD HER how he was felt.

He confessed that he was in love, and that he

would do anything to be with her.

She looked at him with compassion in her eyes

and said "Thank you... I really mean that... but

I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're

too important to me...".

This only confused the man more.

He didn't know how to take it...

Did it mean that she really loved him too, but

that she was afraid of something?

Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long-

term relationship?

Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that

she was trying to give him a hint?

Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough?

Did it mean that he needed to put everything on

the line and REALLY let her know how he felt?

He finally decided that he couldn't go on like

this anymore... he had to be with her.

He had to make sure that she knew just how much

he wanted to be with her... so he took a big step,

bought her a symbolic gift, and wrote her a long,

long letter... again confessing his feelings.

And then the unthinkable happened.

She didn't reply.

He called her three times a day for almost a

week before reaching her.

She made an excuse about being very busy, and

said "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have

to go"... and hung up...

...but he never got a call back.

Over the following months, the man tried

desperately to understand what went wrong... and

what happened.

THE END

OK, I'm back.

Now, wasn't that a sweet story?

Heart warming, huh?

I know, I should keep my day job, and not take

up writing romance novels...

Now, let's talk about that story.

That story is basically a MYTH.

And I'm not talking about FICTION here.

I'm talking about a story that rings true for

a great majority of men. A story that is timeless.

A story that resonates at a deep level because you

can IDENTIFY with it.

And why does this particular story resonate for

most men?

Because we've all been there in one way or

another... at one time or another... and many of

us have been there OFTEN in our lives.

Another thing that gives this particular story

a lot of power is the powerful negative emotions

that it stirs... as a result of the powerful

negative experiences that it reminds us of...

Stories and situations like this one really

FASCINATE me.

They fascinate me because I see them as an

opportunity to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles

that they represent.

In this particular situation I think there is

a solution.

And it lies in understanding a secret that

women know but MEN DON'T.

And that secret comes down to the reality that

if a woman isn't ATTRACTED to a man, all of his

attempts to confess his love, convince her to

like him, and court her BACKFIRE.

In other words, they not only DON'T WORK,

they actually make things WORSE.

In other words, the very things that a man does

to try to make a woman LIKE HIM make her NOT

like him. They make her run.

All those great intentions and emotional

dedication actual cause the man feeling them to

do things that make her go away.

It sucks.

And I hope that by explaining the process of

how this happens to you I'll help you avoid this

painful situation in your own future...

THE "INSTANT EWWW"

I'm always fascinated by the idea that we

humans don't always understand the message that

we're communicating to others...

So often we think that because we WANT to

communicate a message that others are going to

NATURALLY understand what we're trying to say.

Have you ever seen a guy in a foreign car

that has wheels on it that cost more than the

car itself... with his stereo blasting... and

a muffler that somehow AMPLIFIES the raw sound

of the 4-cylinder motor...?

Have you ever thought to yourself "I don't

think that car is communicating the message to

women that he thinks it is"...?

Yea, I have too.

Well here's the deal:

If you do something to "let a woman know how

you feel"... but she isn't ATTRACTED to you, then

it's going to backfire.

It's going to trigger a feeling that like to

call the "Instant Ewww".

The Instant Ewww is just as powerful as the

physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION.

Once a woman feels it, YOU'RE DONE.

It's over.

It's like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into

the coffin.

Once a woman feels the Instant Ewww, she will

start behaving differently.

In short, she'll disappear.

So where did I get the concept of the "Instant

Ewww"?

I got it from WOMEN.

I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the

word "Ewww" when describing how they felt about

a guy that was "confessing his love"... of course,

these were guys that weren't loved in return.

So what causes the Instant Ewww?

And why would a woman feel it towards a man who

was trying to be nice... a guy who was giving her

a gift or telling her how he feels?

Because if you think about it from HER

perspective, you'll realize that the moment a

you do something to "confess", you have created a

TURNING POINT in the relationship.

Up until that point, you were harmless.

I mean, women always know how men feel.

She already knew you wanted her.

She knew it from the beginning.

But now that you've started pursuing her and

talking about how you feel, you've created a

NEGATIVE TENSION that is VERY uncomfortable.

You've triggered an emotion that is repulsive

to women. And it does repel them.

In summary...

You can't "make a woman like you" or "change

how she feels about you" by doing nice things for

her...

Doing "nice" things for a woman who isn't

attracted to you HURTS you. It backfires. Worse,

it creates the "Instant Ewww" feeling that makes

it so she'll NEVER like you.

Men make this mistake over and over again in

life because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to

them. They're doing it because they don't have

an understanding of ATTRACTION.

I mean, If you have a friend, and you like

them, and you want to make them like you more...

and you do some nice thing for them, they will

probably like you more.

On the other hand...

If you have a woman that you "like" in a romantic

way, and she doesn't "feel it" for you, and you

do something nice for her because you want HER to

like you more, it will BACKFIRE... and she will

not only NOT like you more, she will most likely

distance herself from you.

Guys think that they need to communicate when

they like a woman... as if that's part of the

necessary process of getting a girl.

In their minds, it goes like this:

Like her>Tell her you like her>She likes you

Well remember... if you follow this pattern

yourself with women who aren't ATTRACTED to you,

then it's going to BACKFIRE.

If she's not into you, then it goes like THIS:

She thinks of you as a friend>You tell her you

like her>She gets the "Instant Ewwws" and never

wants to be around you again...

THE ANSWER

There are really TWO answers to this problem.

The first answer is what to do if you're in a

situation where you like a particular girl, but

you don't know if she likes you back.

DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HER.

Don't buy her a big gift and write a love

letter...

Don't send her ten dozen roses to her work

with a not that says "From your secret admirer".

Don't call her three times a day.

And DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for her.

If you want to know how she feels about you,

KISS HER (and use "The Kiss Test" that you

learned on my website and in my book).

As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than

HER. Use SIGNALS from her to find out how she

feels... and if you don't know how to read and

create those signals, then LEARN.

Asking a woman if she's interested in your

in a romantic way, or if you are "her type" will

actually DESTROY the chances that she'll like

you.

Really.

The SECOND answer is to not get into this

particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid

it entirely.

And how does one do that?

One does that by creating ATTRACTION from

the beginning.

One does that by understanding the dynamics

of how and why women have the physical and

emotional response of ATTRACTION triggered.

One does that by knowing what you're doing

FROM THE BEGINNING.

And what's the best way to learn THAT

skill?

I thought you'd never ask...

The very best way to learn how to make women

feel ATTRACTION for you is to get yourself a

copy of my eBook, Double Your Dating.

I've spent several years now studying the

ways that men who are "naturals" communicate

using their words, voice tone, and body language

that makes them MAGNETIC to women.

And I'll tell you... it's not magic.

You don't have to be rich, handsome, or young.

And you don't have to be LUCKY.

What you DO have to do is LEARN.

It's a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY

man can learn it if he wants.

But you're not likely to figure it out by

"trial and error". Many of the keys to making

women feel ATTRACTION aren't "obvious" at all.

In fact, many of them make no sense... and

they're the LAST thing you'd do in a particular

situation if you didn't know the SECRETS.

I'm telling you, this book will show you

the way. I guarantee that this program will

INSTANTLY change how you behave around women.

And it will start getting you results

IMMEDIATELY.

In addition, I'd also like to invite you to
sign up for my free dating tips newsletter.

It's free, there's no obligation, I'll never
share your email address with anyone, and you
can easily remove yourself anytime with no
hassles (and no, I'll never pull any of these
tricks where I send you a bunch of unwanted
junk email when you try to remove yourself).

It's JAM PACKED with dozens and dozens of
specific strategies for overcoming fear, approaching
women, getting phone numbers and email address from
women quickly, great inexpensive or even free date
ideas, and advice on how to take things to a
"physical" level smoothly and easily.

If you'd like to take your success with women and
dating to the next level, and have the kind of
success that you've always wanted, then go sign
up for my free newsletter, get all the details,
and check out some great free samples of the
eBook located here:

•
Free Dating Tips Newsletter
And Download eBook •

And I'll talk to you
again soon.

Your Friend,

David
DeAngelo

_________________________________________

Copyright 2007 David DeAngelo Communications Inc.,
All Rights Reserved. David DeAngelo and Double
Your Dating are trademarks of David DeAngelo
Communications Inc.

This is literally the tip of the iceberg when
it comes to communicating effectively with women.
To find out more information about how to succeed
with women & dating visit my blogs at
Online Dating Service
and Online Dating Site

Online Dating Service Blog

2007-03-26T06:42:00.001-07:00

Welcome to my new online dating service blog.

I'll be posting articles about all aspects of online dating services real soon so be sure to check in often.

Thanks for visiting.

Todd